The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter, It isn't just one of your
holiday games; You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter When I tell
you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES. First of all, there's the name
that the family use daily, Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James,
Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey-- All of them
sensible everyday names. There are fancier names if you think they sound
sweeter, Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames: Such as Plato,
Admetus, Electra, Demeter-- But all of them sensible everyday names.
But I tell you, a cat needs a name that's particular, A name that's
peculiar, and more dignified, Else how can he keep up his tail
perpendicular, Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride? Of
names of this kind, I can give you a quorum, Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo,
or Coricopat, Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum- Names that
never belong to more than one cat. But above and beyond there's still one
name left over, And that is the name that you never will guess; The
name that no human research can discover-- But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS,
and will never confess. When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
The reason, I tell you, is always the same: His mind is engaged in a
rapt contemplation Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of
his name: His ineffable effable Effanineffable Deep
and inscrutable singular Name.
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